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Don't Buy This Stuff (3)

It’s that time again where we trawl through the top gift and gadget websites - normally the last port of call for the forgetful spouse who could have sworn their partner’s birthday was on the 12th - to bring you a rundown of the best (and worst) travel items around. This time we’ve got some items so useless, you may actually feel the question marks forming in your eyes, though as a responsible excess baggage company, we've also included some decent ideas in here too.

Now this sounds like a handy thing to have. A Suitcase Scale from I Want One of Those priced £4.99. Many a time shipping overseas I’ve plonked a suitcase on the conveyor belt at the check-in desk and watched anxiously as the digital reading of the weight rises higher and higher towards the maximum weight allowance. This little contraption will put an end to anguished passport squeezing.

A slightly more novel item is this nifty approach to hiding your valuables – the Tansafe! Available at Firebox, it’s like the spray can in Jurassic Park that has the dinosaur embryos in it. Only in this case, it’s a suntan lotion bottle and you can put your wallet and keys it in. On the face of it, this seems like a worthwhile travel aid, though one imagines that with time, thieves will recognise the Tansafe logo and swipe it within seconds. Plus, there’s the added bonus for thieves of everything you want to steal in one convenient case.

The Portable Mosquito Repeller from Presents for Men, is mounted on an adjustable strap and looks like a funky watch. However, instead of telling the time, it emits a high-frequency sound that most mosquitoes agree is not cool. Priced at £14.99, this appears to be a clean and efficient solution to warning off the little blighters. There are no chemicals contained within and it does not release any unpleasant smells. Providing this does actually work, I recommend it. If you have one, let me know.

Now you can have a tasty hot beverage wherever you go with the Travel Cup Boiler! Oh and make sure you have a tea bag, milk and some packets of sugar in your pocket too by the way! Okay, maybe you don’t want to make a cup of tea with this device. In the advertising, the primary reason for purchasing this contraption from Presents for Men is to warm up your baby’s bottle. Fair enough. Twenty quid though. Bit steep. Might just carry on living my life on the edge instead.

Leaving the most pointless till last, Gap Year Travel Store present Cash Pocket Tissues. Make people on the train think you’re blowing your nose on £50 notes! First of all, who wants to appear mad wherever they go? Secondly, no one would jump to the conclusion that you’re blowing your nose on a £50 note. They’re more likely to squint, identify them as novelty tissues and go back to reading The Guardian. Still, it’s all a bit of fun, eh?

Don't forget to check out our shipping services for a free excess baggage quote should you be in a pickle at the airport with too much luggage, having forgotten what I just said about the Suitcase Scale...and who can blame you?

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